The Friendship Between Jesus and John the Beloved
Updated: Mar 22
I know we all have one, so I have to ask this: who is your favorite disciple?
I used to always say that Peter was one of my most favorite disciples because I related to him so much, but the more I learned about the apostle John, the more I liked him.
So, who is John the Beloved?
Traits of John:
1. Jesus called James and his brother, John, “Sons of Thunder,” meaning they had a temper.
In Luke 9:51-56, we read about how a Samaritan village completely rejected Jesus. James and John were so bothered and disgusted by the actions of the Samaritans that they asked Jesus if they could call fire down from Heaven on the people of the village.
But Jesus rebuked their attitudes and called them out.
2. John could be considered a little arrogant and cocky.
In Mark 10:35-41, we read that James and John asked Jesus to sit them at his right and left hand in glory
When the other apostles heard this, they were very annoyed with them – which is understandable.
3. John was a true follower of Jesus
One of the first disciples to follow Jesus
4. John was an ambitious man
We see John start out as a man with a huge temper, but as he grew in the Word and spent more time with Jesus, we see him become one of Jesus’ most trusted friends
Side note – ask yourself if this has ever happened to you. Have you ever noticed a change in yourself because of Jesus? Ponder on that change and thank God for it!
His pride and angry ways totally changed into humility and genuine love for God, only a change that Jesus can do.
His weaknesses were turned into strengths, which is how it should be when you are a disciple of Jesus (2 Corinthians 12:10).
In John 19:26-27, the Bible reads,
“When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, ‘Woman, behold your son!’ Then he said to the disciple, ‘Behold, your mother!’ And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.”
Jesus is on the cross and he is dying. He is probably gasping for air when he makes this statement, but he still does it.
You have to wonder what it was like for a mother to watch her son go through the most gruesome and inhumane suffering in the world, yet Jesus still felt the need to provide for his mother. He saw her as she was crying and clinging to him, and he had so much compassion for her because she was the woman who raised him. It hurts my heart when I imagine this happening.
I feel like sometimes, we are almost desensitized to the image of Christ dying on the cross because we have heard about it so much, which is very disheartening. I encourage you to take time to really discover what it was like for Jesus while he was being tortured and crucified.
So, who was at the cross when Jesus died?
1. 4 women, including Mother Mary and Mary Magdalene
2. The only disciple at the cross with Jesus was John
3. The rest of the apostles fled and unfortunately lacked the courage to be with Jesus in his final hours
The next question is: why would Jesus give his mother to John?
1. It’s probable that Joseph had been dead for some time, so it fell on the oldest son to take care of his mother
2. That being said, Jesus had no gold, money, real estate, or treasure to leave with Mary after his passing
3. Actually, in Matthew 27:35, the Bible says that everything Jesus owned was divvied up among the Roman soldiers at the foot of the cross.
And you would think that Jesus’ brothers would take care of their mother after Jesus’ death, but in John 7:1-5, the Bible talks about how Jesus was avoiding Judea because the Jews were seeking to kill him. His brothers and sisters condescendingly told him to go into Judea so that more people can see his works. And the most heartbreaking verses in this section are these:
Verses 4 and 5 say,
“’For no one works in secret if he seeks to be known openly. If you do these things, show yourself to the world.’ For not even his brothers believed in him.”
That last verse is what breaks my heart the most. Not even his biological family believed in him.
Then, in Jesus’ greatest hour of need, we see John standing beside the cross, possibly holding Mary’s hand. In Matthew 12:50, we read,
“For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”
There is no question that Jesus saw John as a brother.
Jesus, knowing all things, knew that John would be a faithful son to Mary and would receive her with gladness. He also knew that John would be an early leader in the church and how long his ministry would last.
John outlived the other 11 apostles and was the only one to die a natural death. John was blessed with life! He was courageous to stay at the foot of the cross because he loved Jesus and was faithful to him. Love was truly at the center of their friendship. John became a true brother of Jesus – imagine the reunion in Heaven!
Think of John 15:13 – “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”
John knew the extent of the impact Jesus had on him and the world. Jesus truly laid down his life for his closest friend. There is no greater love than that.
So, what can we learn from Jesus and John’s friendship?
1. Friendship is truly a gift from God.
There’s a quote I love by C. S. Lewis and I literally read it all the time to my friends. I’ve attached a picture of the quote at the bottom. Read it, you will want to cry and call up every good friend that you have.
2. A true friend is loyal.
John definitely had a ton of reasons to give up on Jesus – persecution, stones, exile, etc. But he never left Jesus’ side.
3. John was a true disciple of Jesus.
Part of his service and ministry to God was taking care of Mary. Remember, ministry and service to God doesn’t have to straight-up mission work. Ministry can be helping your neighbor with yard work, being kind to someone who needs some kindness in their life, or even asking someone to grab a coffee with you to build community.
And the Bible says that from that moment on, he took care of Mary like she was his own mother. He was devoted to his friend and to God when he did this.
4. Find a friend who strengthens your hand in God.
Pick friends who keep you close to God, not push you further away. Love will always push us to better places!
Below, I've also attached a short clip from The Chosen. This episode is about John and Jesus' friendship and I think this clip is so beautiful. If you have never watched The Chosen before, I 100% recommend it.
I hope this article encourages you and helps you better understand what true friendship looks like. If you have a friend whom you love and strengthens your hand in God, call them up and let them know that!
